Okay, I'm nearly 28 years old and so clearly well into my child bearing prime, so can somebody tell me why I still feel so unprepared for this?
Although this baby was not exactly planned, it was not exactly unplanned either. I guess we sort of thought that we'd been together for 10 years, so it was probably time to get the ball rolling. We wanted to give ourselves some time in the event of a possible biological malfunction. So, we decided to roll the dice. . . and it sure did not take very long at all. . .Now don't get me wrong. I've always wanted to be a mom. It just wasn't at the top of my list. And now that the doodle can't be undid, I can't stop thinking about all of the things that I haven't done yet or won't be able to do any more. I know it's dreadfully selfish (I don't have to feel as bad because I am typing this instead of saying it out loud, so he can't hear me).
I can attribute much of this anxiety to my dear niece and nephew. Sethie and Mia are two of my greatest loves, and that is in great part because of the fact that I can hand them back over after a few hours. Watching my sis, I've come to learn the huge demands of parenthood. At least Brittany can drop the babies off at my mom's any day of the week for some reprieve. I will not be so lucky, unless it's bad enough to ship him on a plane.
So to my dear baby, I am sorry. I'm sure that once I can smooch your cute face it will all be more than worth it, but until then I am going to continue to lament the carefree life I once lived.